Unleashing the Feral Spirit
A Journey Into the Wild and the Art of Attention
I have walked many paths, each leaving its mark upon me. I have been a wanderer, moving with the water and following the call of the unknown. I have known the thrill of adventure, the freedom of the open road, and the solitude of the wild. I am an artist, though my art is not confined to the brush or pen—it is a way of living, a presence that I carry with me through each breath and each step. My life, in all its unvarnished truth, is the canvas upon which I paint.
A year ago, my life appeared desirable to those who looked upon it. I had all the trappings of success: a secure high-paying job, one investment property, a comfortable home, and the companionship of a man I thought I loved. Yet, beneath the surface, there was a restlessness, a disquiet that gnawed at the edges of my contentment. My spirit, like a caged raptor, yearned for flight, but I could not yet see the bars that held me.
The catalyst for my transformation came suddenly, without warning, as such things often do. In October of 2023, while riding my bicycle along a gravel road, burdened by the weight of a heavy pack, I was ambushed by yellow jackets. The pain of their stings sent me crashing to the ground, and in that moment, my world shifted. The fall shattered my shoulder and, with it, the illusion of control I had clung to so fiercely.
I managed in my manual VW wagon, somehow, to drive myself to the hospital, my left arm useless, the pain blurring the edges of my vision. The diagnosis was grim—a broken humeral head, the bone splintered in multiple places. Surgery was inevitable, but that was not the worst of it. The man who had been my companion, my partner in this life, chose that moment to leave me behind. He went on our planned vacation without me, returning only to end our relationship with harsh words that cut deeper than any scalpel. I was left, quite literally, in pieces.
It was then that I realized I could no longer remain where I was. The town I had called home had become a prison, and I needed to escape. With the help of my mother and friends, I packed my belongings into a car and set off on a journey that would take me far from the life I once knew.
Today, I reside in a tiny camper, scarcely larger than a horse's stall, accompanied by my faithful dog, Honey-Tsali. She is more than a companion—she is my protector, my teacher, my anchor in this new, untamed world. Together, we navigate the unknown, living each day in the present, unburdened by the weight of the future. I no longer make plans or paint pictures of what my life should be. Instead, I ask myself what the universe wishes to show me, what wonders might unfold if I remain open to the possibilities that lie beyond my understanding.
In this new life, I have rediscovered the art of attention. I find myself sitting on a rock, watching a dragonfly snatch a mosquito snack in flight, or feeling the ancient energy of the earth beneath my feet. The city, with its comforts and distractions, is a distant memory. Here, in the wild, I have come to know myself in a way I never could have in the confines of civilization.
Attention, I have learned, is our most precious gift. When we give it to another, we offer them our love, our presence. But too often, I gave my attention to others as a means of survival, a way to keep the peace. Now, I am learning to focus that attention inward, to give myself the love I have so long denied.
I share my journey with the world through my art, and I invite others to join me in this exploration of the wild within. There is a magic to be found in the natural world, a feral spirit that dwells within each of us, waiting to be unleashed. For those who wish to delve deeper, I offer a way to connect—through my SubStack channel, The Summery.
We are all, in our own ways, artists. We all carry within us the seeds of something beautiful, something wild. My hope is to inspire others to tend to those seeds, to let them grow and flourish, to find the magic in the world and within themselves. This is the life I have chosen, and it is a life that I would not trade for anything.